A Slow Recovery - Together
by 221destiel
Summary: Emotions are all over the board with both Dean and Castiel as Castiel adjusts to human life. They both need each other's comfort and support to recover from the pain and guilt they feel. Destiel!
1. Chapter 1

A sigh loud enough to hear across the bunker is let out by a frustrated Dean. Sure, he understands why Castiel is so upset, but this is getting ridiculous. It's been two weeks since the angels fell, and he has only come out of his new bedroom to retrieve food and water and use the restroom. And he has hardly uttered a word the entire time.

A few minutes ago, he left his room to get a small glass of water and hurried back in. Just as he reached the door, Dean called his name. Cas stopped for a second, but then continued on to opening and slamming the door behind him.

"You just have to give him time, man," Sam says from across the table the two are sitting at, trying to comfort his obviously upset brother.

"_Time?!_ It's been two weeks, and we barely know what happened that night." Dean lowers his head into his hands. Seeing Castiel in this much pain was almost unbearable.

"Yeah, Dean. I know two weeks seems like a long time to you, but you have to try to get what he's feeling. His entire family is either dead or human. I'm not surprised this is the way-"

The conversation halts when Castiel suddenly emerges, making Dean jump. He has put on his familiar trenchcoat, which is badly in need of a run through the laundry machine. His hair is messy, but clean. He must have showered earlier today. At least he learned how to do that before his angelic mojo disappeared.

"Cas..." Dean clears his throat. "Hey, man."

"Hello, Dean."

The brothers smile, pleased that Castiel is at least speaking.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asks.

"Uh..." He pauses. "I came out here because I've decided I want to tell you what happened. I think you should know."

Dean's smile fades. He changed the subject. He won't even talk about how he feels about it.

"Okay, well, shoot," Sam replies for Dean.

"I am not armed. Why would I shoot anything?" Cas asks.

"No, I... It means 'go ahead.'" Sam replies, smiling slightly.

"Oh, I see." He pauses for a second before continuing on with the story.

By the time he is finished, he has a steady stream of tears running down his stubble-covered cheeks. A few moments of silence follow as the brothers let it sink in. Dean coughs and stands up. "Well, uh, why don't you give me your coat? I'll go put it in the wash for you."

Sam looks at Dean with accusation in his eyes. This is not the way to handle something like this. But Cas slips the coat of his shoulders anyways and places it in Dean's outstretched hands. "Thank you."

Dean walks away slowly and goes down the stairs and into the cold basement of the bunker. He walks to the laundry room, which they had updated with more modern technology, and throws the coat inside the washing machine. Finally, Dean leans against the wall and slides down it slowly, letting the tears escape. Sure, he was upset that his angel was now an ex-angel. But he was even more upset that he couldn't save him. He knew Castiel felt like he needed those extra angelic abilities to feel worth and purpose with the Winchesters, and couldn't imagine how he was feeling now that he didn't have them. He wanted so badly for Cas to know that Dean didn't care about the extras. He just cared about Castiel and his happiness. He grew angrier and angrier as the thought more about Cas's story. How could Metatron do such a thing? Cas said he didn't know why Metatron was so angry and why he resorted to destroying all the creatures of Heaven because of it. For all Dean knew, he could have just been having a bad day. In this moment, Dean vows to himself that he will find Metatron and personally tear the life out of him as slowly as possible.

_Why can't things just work out? Why can't I just be happy?_ Dean thinks as the tears pour from his exhausted eyes. He thought he was doing something good when he saved his brother, but it cost so much. He couldn't have saved one without failing the other. At least Sam was recovering swiftly. But the more he thought about Sam's recovery, he thought about Crowley's. Crowley would be returning to his old self; the one ridden with hatred and the need for vengeance. It seems that Dean could never catch a break. If he's not feeling the constant pain of guilt about one thing, he's suffering it from another.

"Dean?" a familiar gravelly voice calls from the door of the laundry room. Dean could barely hear it over the thunder sounding from the washing machine.

Dean wipes his eyes frantically and looks away.

"Dean, are you okay?" Cas walks to him and kneels next to him. Amazingly with all the things that Cas doesn't understand about humans, he understood pain and how to help people deal with it better than anyone Dean had ever met. A silent understanding is reached when Dean doesn't answer, and Cas pulls Dean gently into his arms, embracing him soothingly. "It's okay, we'll get through this. I need you, Dean. And I think you need me too. We will get through this _together."_

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**[tears]**

**Anyway, this will be rated T until it turns into smut which it probably will**

**I'll try to publish chapters every couple days or more often than that. I will adore you forever if you review and when you do, if you leave your tumblr url I'll follow you (;**

**Thank your reading xx**


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel examined the features of Dean's face, who was looking somewhere off in the distance and didn't notice the fallen angel staring at him. He was thankful for this, knowing Dean would probably feel awkward if he caught Castiel looking at him like this. He observed the chiseled cheekbones just under the edges of his gleaming emerald eyes, which seemed to have little bits of sparkling diamonds scattered around the rich green color. His hair was wonderfully natural, a little messy, but still soft and simple and a beautiful light chocolate color. And his lips, which were a delectable shade of pink, not too light but not too dark. And so kissable.

He hesitated a moment. He'd been having thoughts like this regarding Dean for a long time, even before he raised him from Hell. While the other angels were busy doing all sorts of things in Heaven, Castiel had always been focused on Earth and the mesmerizing creatures it held. He had watched Dean the year before he died and went to Hell. He remembers how upset he was when Dean seemed to hate him in the beginning.

All he could think of was how happy he was that Dean didn't feel that way anymore. As an angel, he could've tapped into Dean's mind any time he desired and seen if there were any feelings toward him, but he never did so. He felt like he owed Dean more than that. He wanted Dean to have privacy, and most of all he wanted Dean to be able to trust him.

_"Cas!"_ His surroundings shattered around him, similar to the way a pane of glass would break if dropped onto a sheet of concrete. He jolted awake.

"Dean…" he said groggily.

"What are you doing in here, man?"

Castiel looks around, analyzing his new surroundings. He was in Dean's room. Slowly, he starts to recall the events of last night. It was in middle of the night, and he was having a nightmare of the angels falling from the sky as he stood helplessly from the ground beneath. This was a common image in his mind these days. He had woken abruptly, tears in his eyes, and decided he didn't want to be alone. He left his own bed to go to Dean's, and quietly snuggled between the blankets on the uninhabited side of the bed. Dean didn't wake up, and Castiel was glad. He quickly fell asleep as he listened to the steady heartbeat coming from the man on the other side of the bed.

"I got lonely. I apologize, Dean. I won't do this again." Cas gets up and begins walking to the door, only to be stopped by Dean's hand grasping his forearm, sending a shiver across Castiel's skin. He stops and turns.

"It's okay. I get it. You don't have to sneak in, though. Wake me up next time so I almost shoot you again." Finally, the fallen angel notices the gun with the fancy cream-colored engraved handle in Dean's hand. He puts it back into the drawer where it came from.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Would you quit apologizing? I already told you it was okay. Let's just go get ready. I have some big plans for today." Dean leaves the room for the bathroom before Cas can say another word. He must want these plans to be a surprise.

After about an hour, Sam, Dean, and Castiel are showered and ready for the day.

"I don't think I ever thanked you for allowing me to wear your clothes, Dean." He smoothes out the dark blue button up shirt he is wearing and hitches up the jeans, which are a little too big on him.

"Well, what did you expect us to do? Let you walk around naked?"

Suddenly, Castiel feels his cheeks getting hot. He raises his hand to feel them. Worried, he wonders if he's getting sick. How long does it take for a fever to catch? "I think I might have a fever," he says, squinting his eyes slightly as he feels his other cheek only to find the same thing.

The brothers start laughing. "You're not sick," Sam informs Castiel with a wide grin. "It's called blushing. It happens when you're embarrassed about something, but usually in a good way. Like how you were just thinking about walking around naked and Dean seeing you." Dean quickly throws a vicious glare at his brother, who in return just laughs harder. Now both Dean and the fallen angel are sporting bright red cheeks.

"Are we going to just stand around and wait or are we going to go?" Dean says, hastily grabbing the keys Baby as he rushes to the door.

Dean glances at his brother in the passenger's seat as he pulls into a parking space. "You have the money?" he asks. Castiel, sitting in the back seat as he always seems to do in the Impala, wonders why they are here. He looks around the strip mall surrounding them, waiting to find out which store they will be going into.

"Of course I brought the money!"

"Good, let's go."

"Where are we going?" Castiel asks.

The brothers ignore him and get out of the car, soon followed by their newly human ex-angel. Because Dean parked very close to the doors of the pet store, they are soon inside and Castiel begins looking around.

"Hello, welcome! Can I help you with anything?" a sale's associate asks Sam.

"We are looking for a kitten," Dean says, looking at Cas, who has taken an interest in a cage full of sleeping kittens in the back of the store. "I guess we are looking for _those_ kittens," he laughs. The brothers and the sale's associate, named Alysa, according to her nametag, walk to meet Cas at the back of the store.

"Felines are so lovely…" he says when the others reach him. "Especially in this young age." He smiles, nearly cooing at the animals behind the glass.

The brothers laugh and ask Alysa to open the cage. Cas reaches in as soon as she complies and scoops one of the kittens into his arms. He runs his hand gently along his back, admiring his soft short fur. He wonders how long it has been since he has been this happy.

The kitten, still very tired, falls asleep in Cas's hands and he is alarmed when it starts eliciting a deep crackling tone. "He is vibrating!" he shouts and puts the sleeping cat in Dean's arms.

Sam laughs. "It's not vibrating, Cas. He's purring. It means he's content."

Dean begins petting the cat in a very mechanical manner. In response, the animal begins purring louder and starts licking Dean's fingers, which are gently scratching the kitten's chin. He sighs. Castiel, not understanding why and how Dean could possibly be upset, squints his eyes.

Sam, noticing the new human's confusion, clears it up. "Dean is allergic to cats."

"Oh. I apologize, Dean. I didn't know about that. I would not have put him in your hands. What are we doing in this store if you are allergic to the animals in it?"

"What do you think we're doing? We're buying a cat." With that, Dean drops the kitten into Sam's hands. Startled, the cat awakens and begins clawing at his new host's hands.

"Ow! Shit!" Sam quickly hands the cat back to Castiel, who gladly takes it. He settles back down again and drifts back into unconsciousness. Sam examines a deep scratch on his hands and sighs.

"This is the one?" Dean asks, ignoring his little brother's difficulty.

"You do not have to do this. I do not need a cat, and I am sure all it would do is cause havoc for you two."

"We already decided this is what we want to do, Cas. Now, is this the one you want?"

After a few more minutes of protest from the fallen angel, he finally gives in and accepts the gift. Alysa puts the kitten into a small box and hands it to Castiel. He takes it happily and walks to the door while Dean and Sam pay.

Back at the bunker a few minutes later, Castiel puts the kitten, which is amazingly still sleeping, into a small cat bed they bought along with a few other supplies at the store. He steps back and watches him for a while, admiring his lovely coloring. His body was a dusty sort of gray. His paws are white, along with his neck and stomach. His face had little splotches of caramel coloring strewn throughout, and he had subtle black stripes winding down his short tail.

"You still have to give it a name," Sam says, ripping Castiel from his previous state of deep thought.

"Oh. Yes. I thought about that in the car on the way back here. I think I have decided it should be named Chastity."

"Chastity? Like the hooker you freaked out in the whore house that one time?" Dean looks at him in disbelief.

"Yes. I thought it was a nice name."

At this point, Sam nearly doubles over in laughter.

"Yeah, maybe for a stripper. And a _female!_ What, do you still think about her?" Dean questions, almost sounding offended.

"No! I just liked the name, that's all. And it isn't necessarily a women's name _only_."

Before Dean can fire back another argument, Sam, who has tears in his eyes at this point, pipes in. "I think it's a great name."

Cas looks triumphantly at Dean, who sighs. "Fine. Chastity it is. But I'm just going to call it what it is. _It._" Dean says, leaving to grab a beer from the refrigerator in the kitchen.

Castiel sits on the floor next to the kitten's bed and strokes his fur softly, smiling when he begins vibrating again like he did back at the store.

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**I couldn't resist, sorry lol**

**Thank you Perry123 for giving me the lovely idea. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. It's nice to have a distraction from the huge hole in my heart left from the season 8 finale you feel me**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and things, and as always if you decide to review, if you leave me your tumblr url I will absolutely follow you :) I figure you all must have some kick ass blogs if you're reading Destiel smut / fluff. Love you people! xx**


	3. Chapter 3

_"No!"_

Dean is awoken by a loud shout from the other side of the bed. He is not surprised to see Castiel lying next to him. Often, late at night, he would sneak into Dean's room and curl up next to him, but he was always so quiet Dean would never wake up. This had been going on for about two weeks. He is surprised, however, by the expression on his face. His brow is furrowed, and though is mouth is closed, you can tell his teeth are clenched tightly together. It's obvious he is having a nightmare.

Dean reaches over to him and shakes him awake. As consciousness springs into him, he gasps and sits up. His breath is heavy, as if he'd just been out for a run, and he looks around the room anxiously, making sure he is safe. After taking a few seconds to calm down, his eyes well with tears. He hides his face in his hands, ashamed of showing weakness to Dean.

"Whoa, hey. It's okay. It's okay, Cas…" He pulls him into his arms and begins rubbing circles slowly into his back in an effort to comfort and soothe him.

"Dean, it was my fault. They all fell because of me. Now they're all human or dead, and it's all my fault…" He tries to say more, but his voice trails off and he breathes in heavily. Dean wipes the tears from his cheeks and continues trying to soothe him.

"It's okay. Shhhhh…" Cas's head falls onto Dean's shoulder, and he transfers his hand from the fallen angel's back to his messy hair and begins soothingly running his fingers through it. "You said Metatron took your Grace? I told you, baby. We'll get it back for you. I swear, Cas. Everything will be okay."

They sit like this for ten or fifteen minutes. Dean occasionally moves his hands, one always occupying Castiel's hand, and the other switching from his back to his hair and to his arm and shoulder. Cas eventually calms down and his breathing steadies. He slowly drifts back into unconsciousness, falling limp in Dean's welcoming arms. Carefully, Dean lays him back down and pulls the covers over him. After getting out of the bed, trying his hardest to keep from disturbing his new human, he gets dressed quietly and plants a gentle kiss on Castiel's forehead before leaving the room.

Around 9:00 A.M., Sam joins Dean in the main room of the bunker, where Dean is eating and scrolling through something on the computer. "You better not be watching porn on my laptop," he warns while grabbing a croissant roll off a nearby table.

"I'm not. I was just looking through the news."

"I see…" Sam pauses for a few minutes. "Dean?"

Dean looks at his brother, surprised by the sudden serious tone in his voice. "Yeah?"

"I want to ask you something. Please just be truthful."

"Um, we'll see," Dean responds suspiciously.

"Do you… you know, have a thing… for Cas?"

"What? No!" He begins scratching the back of his neck nervously.

"Truthful, remember?"

"I… no. Why would you think something like that?"

"Dean, it's pretty obvious. I can see the way you look at him. It's okay, man. I don't care. I just want you to admit it and stop lying to yourself. He sleeps in your goddamn room for Christ's sake."

"I don't invite him! He sneaks in! Nothing _goes on!"_ he argues.

"Dean! I'm your brother and I know these things. You don't have to be so defensive. _I already know the truth._ I just want _you_ to accept it. Believe me, he feels the same way about you. You two are pretty much the most ridiculous coup—"

"_We are not a couple!"_ Dean shouts, sending an echo through the room.

"Okay, okay. Shut up. You'll wake him up. Look, dude. I just want you to be happy. I know how you feel about him and I know how he feels about you. You both really failed at keeping it a secret. I just want you to _do_ something about it. At this point, I'd really just be happier if you two were together. This awkward in-between is irritating, okay? That's all." With that, he walks out of the room.

Dean sighs. _Is it really that obvious?_ he thinks. _He feels the same way?_ He tries to recall any time where it would have been made obvious that he had strong feelings for the newly fallen angel. He'd been trying so hard to keep it a secret.

"Dean?" a quiet voice comes from behind him. _Speak of the devil_, Dean thinks, but immediately feels guilty of the wording.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Dean, was what he said true?"

Dean sighs. "No, Cas. It's not true. I like _women_, remember?"

"But—"

"It's not true, okay?"

Castiel walks over and takes a seat next to Dean. "Why do you think it is so bad to feel that way? I do not understand."

"It's not bad. I never said I had anything against it. It's just not me, though. I'm not… _gay._"

"Dean…" Castiel sighs.

"I… I just don't feel—" Before he can finish his rebuttal, Castiel wraps his hands around Dean's neck tightly and pulls him into a kiss. At first, Dean tries to pull away, but Cas is _strong_. Soon, he realizes the battle is lost and gives up, letting the fallen angel take control. He feels Cas's fingers weaving through his hair and wonders where he learned how to kiss so well. Soon, Castiel's tongue eagerly begins exploring Dean's mouth. One of Dean's hands lands on Cas's chest, the other wrapping gently around his neck. Too soon, though, Castiel pulls away.

_"I knew it!"_ Sam yells excitedly from the other side of the room. "I told you, Cas."

"Thank you for your help, Sam," Castiel responds, grinning wildly at Dean.

_"What?!_ This was... this was some sort of, what, a plan? Are you kidding me?!" Dean yells, his cheeks burning bright red.

"We had to get you to accept it somehow, bro. Now there's no excuse."

Dean is too frazzled too answer. He stands up angrily, knocking his chair over in the process, and storms off to his room. Even after slamming his door shut, Sam and Castiel's laughs echo through the bunker, and Dean feels like he could die of the embarrassment he's experiencing.

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As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. XxX thank you for reading :) If you have any ideas for a chapter or any requests for anything, feel free to PM me and tell me, because I'd be happy to make a chapter with your idea in it. :D

Thank you! xx


	4. Chapter 4

Later that same night, an angry Dean Winchester lies on his bed, trying to sort out the events that occurred earlier in the day. Maybe if he could come up with just the right excuse, he could get himself out of this situation. He hated feeling like this. Dean Winchester was not someone who let other people control his life, yet here he is. _Trapped. _It wasn't like he could tell Sam that it was all Cas. Dean's consent to Castiel kissing him was obvious. He replays the whole event over and over again in his head and feels extreme regret for not seeing the setup coming.

Suddenly, Dean's thoughts are interrupted by a quiet knock on his door. He tries to ignore it, but the knocking soon continues. And now it's louder.

"What?" Dean hisses.

Castiel sheepishly opens the door, holding his cat lovingly in his arms. "Hello, Dean."

"What the hell do you want?"

"I… Look, Dean. I am sorry. I should not have set you up like that. But I am still having nightmares whenever I sleep, and I cannot change that. The only thing that helps seems to be you."

"Well, maybe you should have thought about that earlier."

"Dean!" Anger and desperation pours through his low voice, making Dean instantly regret snapping at him. The ex-angel sighs. "Dean… please."

After a short pause, Dean replies, "I'm sorry… You can stay in here if you want, I guess."

"Thank—"

"But that thing stays outside." Dean glares at the ball of fur asleep in the ex-angel's arms.

"But he loves you so—"

_"Outside."_

Frowning, Castiel sets the kitten on the floor outside Dean's bedroom door and closes it softly. Dean notices the only clothing Cas seems to be wearing is a light silken robe, left from the original Men of Letters. He tries to push the inappropriate thoughts from his mind, but finds himself losing the battle.

Cas turns around slowly after he closes the door and walks around to the unoccupied side of Dean's bed.

"Cas?" Dean asks softly.

Castiel hesitates and looks at the hunter snuggled underneath the comforter on the bed. "Yes, Dean?"

"Um… what do you even _have_ nightmares about? Just curious."

"Well, sometimes it's Metatron running the blade across my neck and feeling the Grace being ripped from my body—" Dean winces slightly at the image. "—and sometimes—most of the time—it's about… you."

"M-me?" Dean stutters in surprise.

"I think about all the times I've let you down and I think about how… damaged… you were when I found you in Hell. A lot of my nightmares are you just yelling 'Castiel.' It was the last thing I heard before I lost my Grace…" The edges of Cas's eyes are red at this point, and it's obvious he's trying his hardest to keep away the tears. He sits down on the bed, facing away from Dean and begins wiping his eyes.

"Oh, Cas… I'm sorry. It's okay. Come here." Dean sits up and reaches out to the damaged soul sitting next to him. He gently pulls Cas down until he's lying next to Dean. Castiel nuzzles his head into Dean's neck and focuses on his breath, trying to calm himself down. Dean shuffles uncomfortably at first, but decides this is no time to be prideful. Cas is hurting, and Dean so badly wants to comfort him. With his arms already wrapped around Castiel, Dean rubs soothing circles into Cas's back and recalls doing this earlier this morning.

After a few minutes, Cas looks up at Dean, who blushes at the sudden intensity in those deep blue eyes gazing up at him.

Suddenly, Cas stretches his neck up and presses his lips to Dean's. At first, Dean tries to pull away, but gives up when he realizes how happy this is making him. Cas's lips move so naturally and with so much ease against his own. A ripple of nervousness runs through Dean's stomach when he feels Cas's warm tongue press against his lips. He gladly obliges to Cas's gentle lead, opening his mouth for Cas to explore.

Dean moves his hands from Cas's back to his neck, wrapping gently around it. He sits a bit more upright, his back leaning against the bedframe behind him. Still kissing Dean, more eagerly now, Cas follows Dean and gets on his knees, one on each side of Dean's hips, and sits slowly down on Dean's lap, currently covered by the fluffy white comforter. Cas smiles into the kiss as he begins to feel something hard pressing against him from under the blankets.

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**Sorry it's so short D: I'll try to make the next chapter longer. And there may or may not be a time jump, depending on what you guys want. So if you decide to leave a review, I'll 1.) love you forever and 2.) I'll really take your suggestions into account. Really. I don't really write these things in advance. I just write the chapters as I go, so if you have suggestions or some type of scenario you want to happen, it wouldn't be very difficult at all to put your suggestions into the story. :) Thank you all so much for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Rating changed because of this chapter! It's been decided, also, that this story will continue to be written but with the lovely help of ****_jennabrooke7_****who also wrote this whole chapter. So praise to her for writing some damn good smut.**

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Dean's heart was racing. Here he was with a fallen angel straddling his lap, clad only in a pair of boxers (or, in Cas's case, a tantalizing green robe), and was growing very hard very quickly. He rolled his hips for friction and carefully slipped the silk from one of Cas's shoulders, leaving a trail of kisses along the exposed skin. Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair and he looked up into the piercing blue eyes, "Cas…you sure you want this?" The former angel gave him a gentle smile and kisses his lips, "I want you, Dean, in every way possible."

He didn't need to be told twice. Dean gently rolled them over so Cas was on his back under him. He latched onto Cas's neck, nipping and sucking as he slowly removed the robe from his body. He trailed kisses down his now exposed chest, making sure to flick his tongue around his nipples. Cas sucked in a sharp breath and he gently pulled on Dean's hair. "I got you, Cas," Dean muttered as he kissed his abdomen.

He fumbled with the loose knot around Cas's waist and let the robe slip away, revealing the rest of his body. He crawled back up to capture Cas's lips in a slow, but heated kiss and let his hand reach down and slowly stroke him. "You are so beautiful," Dean said between kisses. Cas let out a breathy moan and Dean made his way back down his body.

Dean pushed away the nervousness at the back of his mind and took Cas into his mouth. He bobbed his head slowly, trying to take in as much as he could. He was surprised at how turned on he was by the small moans and gasps that emerged from Cas's mouth. He hummed around the man's member and used his hands to gently massage his thighs.

Not wanting Cas to come too soon, Dean pulled off with a wet pop and crawled back up to kiss his neck. Cas lifted Dean's chin up and brought their lips together in a clash of teeth and tongues. "Need you…inside…" Cas muttered between kisses, his hips bucking up to meet Dean's. Dean chuckled breathily and reached over into the nightstand, fumbling around for the bottle of lube and a condom. He gave Cas one more kiss, "I'm gonna make this so good. Gonna take care of you."

Dean lifted and spread Cas's legs, placed small kisses on the inside of his thighs and rubbed an ample amount of lube on his fingers. He positioned his fingers against Cas's entrance and glanced up into his eyes, "I have to open you up, otherwise it'll hurt a lot." The former angel quickly nodded his head and reached down to clasp his hand to Dean's.

Dean gently pushed his finger past the tight ring and heard Cas release a soft hiss. He gently squeezed his hand and pushed further, stopping to let him adjust. When Cas started wiggling his hips for movement, Dean took that as a sign to continue, nearly pulling his finger out and slowly pushing back in. Cas gasped and moaned, nearly begging for more.

Dean pushed in a second finger, gently scissoring him open. He added a third finger and soon Cas was gasping and writhing in pleasure. "D-Dean…mo-more now," Cas cried out. Dean stood up and pulled his boxers off before rolling on the condom and applying the lube. He positioned himself at Cas's entrance and left a lingering kiss to his lips, "If any of this becomes too much, I promise I'll stop. I won't hurt you." Cas lifted a hand to cup Dean's cheek, "I'm fine, Dean. I trust you."

With a grunt, Dean pushed himself inside Cas, both men hissing and groaning. Dean slowly sheathed himself and he panted against Cas's lips, "Aahh…Cas you're…so tight." Cas groaned and breathed into Dean's ear, "Dean…move."

Dean started to thrust, building up a gentle rhythm. They both broke out in a sweat and brushed their lips together, moaning each other's names as a steady heat built up inside them. Dean reached between their bodies and gripped Cas in his hand, using long, languid strokes to bring him to the edge.

Dean shifted a bit and angled himself for deeper penetration. He thrust forward and brushed against a small bundle of nerves, causing Cas to throw his head back and moan loudly. "Right there! Do that again!" Cas nearly shouted. Dean chuckled and kissed his neck before hitting his prostate again and again.

After a few moments, Dean had made Cas a writhing mess beneath him. The man had his arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly, moaning his name repeatedly in his ear. He had never seen something so beautiful. Dean could feel both of them quickly reaching their climax, both of them breathing heavily and groaning.

With a few final strokes, Cas came with a shout, squirting white hot streams onto both of their stomachs and chests. Dean felt Cas clench around him and soon came inside his former angel.

He gently pulled out and threw away the condom before flopping down on the bed next to his lover. Cas reached over onto the nightstand and grabbed a few tissues to clean them with, then curled into Dean's chest. Dean wrapped his arms protectively around him and leaned down to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

"That was so amazing," Cas muttered against Dean's neck, a small smile gracing his features. Dean grinned, "Yeah…that was the best I've ever had." Cas looked up at him, eyebrows raised, "Really?" He kissed his forehead and said, "Of course. I've never been with anyone like you…and I don't want to be with anyone but you."

Cas smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, murmuring, "I love you, Dean." Dean's heart skipped a beat and he paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Deciding that there was no sense in denying his feelings any longer, he simply replied, "I love you, too, Castiel." They pulled the blankets up over them and curled up together, both men falling into a deep, peaceful sleep in seconds.

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**Another thank-you to my new lovely and beautiful and stunning and talented and furiously amazing co-writer ****_jennabrooke7_********(look her up or some shit and read her other stories because, as you've just read, she's got some major talent). Next chapter will be up sometime later this week, hopefully xx THANKS FOR READING!**

**also instead of asking you all for your tumblr urls, i'll just leave mine here and you can do with it as you will: ****_consulting-villain-in-the-impala_**

**Hugs and kisses to you lovely people that still read this story!**


	6. Chapter 6

"D-Dean?" an alarmed voice rings from the door to Dean's bedroom. He jolts awake, groaning groggily as his joints adjust to his sudden movements. He looks towards the doorway, squinting at the lights, which have been turned on.

"What do you…" he begins, but his voice trails off as he begins to recognize Sam's classic 'what the hell is going on' expression. His brother's eyes glance to something behind Dean. Dean's cheeks are instantly a bright shade of scarlet as he realizes his right arm is underneath Cas, their legs are entwined, and Cas's arms are clutched lazily around Dean's bare torso. His face is full of pure panic as he looks up at his younger brother. "Sam, I—"

"Finally." That's all Sam says as he walks away laughing.

Dean uncurls himself from Cas's unconscious body and sits up, shocked at the events that just played out. The fallen angel awakens from the movement, and squirms alongside Dean. "What… happened?" he asks with a yawn.

"Sam… Sam found us all, uh…" Dean responds. He brings his knees forward and brings his hands to his head, grasping tightly at his hair. "He saw."

"So?" Cas replies as he curls his arms around Dean again.

_"So?"_ Dean repeats. But as he tries to come up with reasons why Sam finding about about the previous night, he can't seem to find any.

"I thought so." Cas leans up and kisses Dean's shoulder lovingly and Dean can't stop himself from blushing.

Sam greets the eldest of the two hunters and his fallen angel when they make the short journey to the dining room, where Sam is serving breakfast. Usually it's Dean who makes breakfast for himself and the other two men living in this bunker, but Sam must've seen today as an exception.

Dean quickly makes the decision not to talk about what happened this morning. Sure, he wishes Sam wouldn't have found he and Cas all tangled up like that, but there were undeniable feelings he had for Cas that he'd been feeling for a very long time before last night. Even though Sam finding them together (and probably hearing them last night, though Dean didn't want to think about Sam listening to any of that) was a less-than-pleasant situation, Dean had to get used to the fact that him and Cas could very possibly considered a steady couple very soon, and he had to get used to people knowing about it.

"Stop playing with your food and follow your _boyfriend's_ example," Sam teases at Dean. He almost protests, but when he sees the glee in Cas's eyes as he shovels eggs and bacon into his mouth, he stops himself and begins eating.

"This is good, thanks Sammy."

"You're welcome. I, uh, have something we should probably discuss."

"What's that?" Dean replies between bites.

"Well… All the angels fell,"—Cas winces at Sam's words—"and Metatron is an angel. So he must've fallen too. But he took Cas's grace, right? So he has the grace of an angel. It's only logical to assume he used it to turn himself back into an angel after the fall." Cas has lost his appetite from the sudden harsh flashbacks he's currently experiencing and pushes his plate forward slightly. "If we could find a way to get that grace out of him, we could get your grace back, Cas."

There is a long hesitation.

"Well, uh, what are we waiting for then?" Cas finally replies.

"For one thing, we don't even know where to begin _looking_ for something to even research how a human could cut the grace out of an angel. Especially when it's only three weak normal humans against the only angel in existence," Sam lectures.

"There was a library," Cas says simply.

"You gonna elaborate?" Dean asks when Castiel shows no intention of saying any more.

"In Heaven. There was a library in Heaven that had all of these things. And I bet the, uh, angelic librarian, if you will, took the books with him when he started falling. His name was Harahel, the Angel of Knowledge."

"Okay, so step one then, I'd say, is locating the guy," Sam says.

"Really? That is an astonishing idea! Where in the hell would you come up with something like that?" Dean snaps, voice flooded with sarcasm. His younger brother throws a glare at him.

"What's your problem?" Sam snaps back.

"Maybe you should knock before you barge into peoples' rooms! Did you ever think of that?" Dean hisses.

"Oh, come _on_, man. You're not still upset about that, are you? Seriously. It's not like we didn't know this was gonna happen. Seriously, dude. Everybody that sees you guys knows you have a thing for each other. Right, Cas?"

The fallen angel chooses not to answer, and instead looks down at his hands and blushes.

A few moments pass before Dean speaks up. "That doesn't mean you don't have to knock on peoples' doors." And with that, he picks up his car keys and walks out the door.

* * *

**OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS I AM SO SORRY I DID NOT UPLOAD THIS SOONER OKAY SO HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED**

**i went on vacation and when i came back i had four days before i left again and i was going to do it but i didnt and i was gone for a really long time and i felt bad about it every single second i was gone ok i am just really horribly sorry and whatnot so yeah im just wow im really sorry. but here it is and hopefully we will keep updating it more reliably this time. again i am so sorry. still, thank you for all your reviews and favorites and follows it really does mean so much. anyway, somebody pointed out that i put my url up on here somewhere and it is not the url i currently have. the one i have now is naturalsherdoc and that is what it will stay for a long time because i think its cute even if nobody else does lol. cowriter's url is trickydicksp8ismyhomeboy and shes really cute so u should go follow her because shes cute. anyway im sorry for being late and that is all**

**p.s. that wasn't all i just wanted to say i love you guys all a lot ok**


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